Name: The Helljack

Rank: Gonzo Broadcaster/Master of Smartass Assassins

Location: Auburn, Maine

Bio: Keeper of the sacred words ("Hurdy Gur!") and the Steel Gospel, as well as the first man to be confirmed as soldier street preacher on this side of the real, The Good Reverend Helljack also holds a Ph.D. in Broadcasting from the school of OWNING YOUR ASS. He controls the vertical. He controls the horizontal. Please stand by. For pwnage.

WARNING: The Helljack's brand of humor has been known to cause cancer in assholes and airheads . He is in your TV right now. He just impregnated it with awesome.